I don’t remember where I found this. It might have even been on someone else’s blog. If I ripped this off your blog, sorry.
During downtime we discussed what we wanted and how we could make things work more smoothly. One of MS’ suggestions was “hey, you should have a sadist night.” That was an amazing idea and I couldn’t wait to implement it. Instead of planning it for a future date, I just did it.
I had her kneel in a slightly different position, hands behind back instead of in front. She was also naked this time. She waited, kneeling, while I prepared the toys I would need for this session.
When I returned, I put on her collar and leather wrist and ankle cuffs. She remained kneeling while I felt her pussy and how wet it was. I blindfolded her and touched her more. I had her stand up and face me, and keep her hands behind her back.
We haven’t been able to use nipple clamps for a while, but we are now back to a place where they can be used. I was about to unleash my inner sadist, and enjoy it. MS is a masochist, so she would enjoy it too.
I started with nipple suckers, and increased the suction on each nipple to the maximum. I wanted them to be more sensitive for later. I retrieved 4 clothespins from our bag of nipple clamps, and put two on each labia. She moaned a little when I put the 3rd and 4th ones on. I flicked them and pulled them a bit, and each time she jumped with the sensation and pain. I removed them and moved back to her nipples. I like giving them the attention they need. I used the press clamps, and tightened them until MS gave a distressed moan, then tightened them a bit more. I added a couple lead weights, and let them swing to pull on her nipples. Her moans were amazing.
One side fell off, met with a squeal of pain.I removed the other and found another set of clamps to use. I selected a set of clamps that tightens by twisting a cylinder under the jaws of the clamp. These were able to hold on better when I tightened them. I added weights to these as well and made her bend over and suck my cock. The weights swung and pulled her nipples as she bobbed up and down. I removed the clamps and turned her to face and bend over the bed. I added a ball gag as well.
It was spanking time. This isn’t punishment. This is fun for both of us. I warmed her up with a light spanking, and gradually gave it to her harder and harder. I was able to use every impact toy we own. It took a while, and her bottom was pink and warm after.
I lubed up a plug and installed it in the proper place. I took my time and reminded her what a slut she was for wanting the toy in her ass. I had her get up on the bed, on hands and knees. I fetched a condom from the bathroom, and pulled her hair as I thrust into her from behind. I repeated such pulling and thrusting until I was finished, and went to clean up. I returned and moved her to her back, legs spread.
I gave her oral sex, teasing her and edging her a couple times. Each time she asked permission to cum I stopped and waited a bit before resuming. I finally allowed her to cum, then began again. This time I didn’t edge her, but proceeded until she orgasmed again.
I did our usual aftercare, snuggling with some gummy bears to eat and cold water to drink. I removed everything except her collar, which remained locked on until morning.
D/s changes and grows with a relationship, even for those who have been together for a long time. Many things have not been analyzed and communicated, and sometimes we haven’t been prepared to understand them.
MS and I have been going through an internal analysis and communication on our D/s and what we each want from it. Talking to others in the lifestyle has helped us think differently and realize how the other is thinking. Some of our assumptions were wrong, and as we communicate we understand each other better. We understand ourselves better as well.
The areas in which I assert my Dominance are in the bedroom, and in a few areas in everyday life. The bedroom is something I want for myself, and MS wants to let go and submit and not have to make decisions in bed. Outside the bedroom, D/s has crept in to select areas. Those areas are in play not for any desire on my part to cover specific areas, but they are there due to my desire to take care of MS and help her in an area she needs help in. Those areas have become a problem for her to handle on her own, and she has consented to me utilizing D/s to keep her on track.
One of those areas is eating and drinking properly. It isn’t anything to do with calorie counting or selecting food. It is more basic. I use D/s to make sure she eats her meals and drinks water. I try to make sure the food is healthy when possible, but the main focus is just getting the food and water in. She is busy during the day, and her desire to work and help other sometimes makes her forget lunch time and to eat and drink. We both know she needs to eat, but left to herself, she will usually forget. It is my job to take care of her in general, and part of that is making sure she remains healthy. If she doesn’t eat she has less energy, and is not able to do everything she needs to do during the day. With my assistance as her Dom, She will get back on track with eating and drinking to maintain her health, and feel better for it.
The phone is also in the D/s sphere. She tends to forget to charge it, and it is dead when she needs it or when I need to contact her. I use D/s to make sure she charges it properly. If it loses charge she would not have it in an emergency to of from work, and I would not be able to contact her to make sure she eats.
Another topic of our discussions was Dom/sub style. We are both lawyers, and it it is our personality. I need to be sure that my language is direct and clear. the lawyer on the other side will hear any ambiguity or choices in the language, and comply with the exact language. If I am not direct, she sees choices, or multiple ways to comply when I mean only one. I have to counter her lawyer training to get my point across directly and make sure she knows I mean business. Up until now I haven’t been as forceful, and, combined with MS’s lawyering her submission, it has caused some hiccups in our D/s. Neither one of us was feeling like the other was living up to their part, and most of it was caused by a lack of understanding or communication. We each thought the other had given up when we really didn’t understand how the other worked and what they needed.
One comment that stood out to me: “You seem to always expect strict compliance.” That would tend to seem strict or harsh, but there is a good reason behind it. To help her and keep her healthy, I always expect things to be done properly, like eating breakfast and lunch. I cannot let things slide or only half-ass it. If I didn’t insist on compliance 100% of the time, I’m not really helping her. I would be doing the same thing she would do on her own by letting her skip meals. The only way to help and keep her healthy is to insist on the same beneficial activities every day.
We have discussed our D/s, the reasons for what we want, and what we think when different events happen. We have also communicated our wants and need for D/s, and we are getting back on track in our new and improved style.
It was night, and the children were getting ready for bed. It was time to give them showers. I asked MS what the plan was, and she said that I should give the younger one a bath first, then the older one. I was ready to give the younger one a bath, and she changed the plan, letting the older one go first. That was inconvenient for me, and I made an un-domly fuss about it. I went to walk the dog instead and came back while the older child was still in the shower. I expressed that I was disappointed in the change in plan after I had already prepared, and MS said something not very respectful. I had had enough by this time and grabbed her nipples and squeezed until she yelped. I held her hands above her head and squeezed each nipple some more. I turned her around and bent her forward over the bed. I pulled her panties down to mid thigh and gave her a nice hard spanking. Each spank stung my hand and her bottom, and her bottom started to turn a nice pink color. Normally she enjoys a good spanking, but this one was hard, and without any warm up. The sounds she made as I spanked her indicated that she was not very pleased with the spanking. I pulled her panties back up and went to help the child bathe.
After the bath was done, it was time to bathe the younger child. That was done quickly, and I had a shower after that. When I got out, MS came in, closed the bathroom door and locked this kids out. She then proceeded to apply lotion on me, everywhere. Her touch was gentle, and she rubbed the lotion in nicely, taking her time everywhere she likes to touch. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of her fingers moving over my body. She finished with the lotion and I was a little disappointed that she was. Everything has to finish sometime, but I was enjoying it. I’m sure the child knocking on the door didn’t help either.
It was night, and the children had just gone to bed. I entered the bedroom, and MS was taking care of her evening routine. I walked into the bathroom and change my clothes for bed, and I was happy to see my pajamas waiting in the appropriate place. MS sets them out for me as part of our evening ritual, but she had been lax about doing so for several weeks before now. When my clothes are there waiting for me, I know she has thought of me and kept her submission in mind. It helps feed my Dom, knowing that my sub is there in a good frame of mind.
She said she is going to bed. She knows she is supposed to kneel first, and be invited to bed, but she was pushing me to see what I would do. I don’t like it when she does this. If I have to remind her so much, is she in the right frame of mind and really submitting? This is something she agreed to. I had to remind her to kneel a few times, and she finally did.
I walked around the bed to where she was kneeling, and looked at her. I enjoy looking and seeing her kneel in the proper position. Her posture is correct with back straight and hands in lap. Her head is bowed slightly. She is beautiful, and waiting for me. She is showing her submission and waiting for me to lead her to bed. It makes me happy, and feeds my Dom.
We got into bed and had some downtime. We talked about the day and D/s stuff. Once that was over, we started to go to sleep. She was laying on her side, snuggled up to me, with her head on my chest. I decided I wanted to play. Sometimes I have a plan, and sometimes its just something basic that evolves. I wanted a blowjob. I didn’t outright ask for it though.
I pulled her closer to me and pulled her on top. It took a couple tries, because she was resisting being moved. Once she was on top, I held her for a few minutes, then removed her bra and shirt and hugged her to me again. Her breasts were pressing on my chest, with nothing to separate us. They were warm and soft, and felt amazing. I brought my hands under to gently squeeze and roll her nipples between my fingers. She responded to that with a soft moan, and waited for more. I pushed her up to a sitting position. She was straddling my hips. She ground her hips onto mine, trying to reach the right place.
I shifted to remove my pajamas, and she rolled over to her side to go back to sleep. She does that sometimes, and it is frustrating. At that point, the plan evolved.
I asked her to go get an anal plug, and insert it. She told me I would have to do it if I wanted it. I gave her the choice of doing it herself,or I would do it for her with extra lube. She doesn’t like the feel of extra lube. She remained in bed, so I got up to get the plug and the lube. Plan evolved again.
While I was retrieving the lube, I saw my impact toys. I selected a paddle to use. I say paddle, but I’m not entirely sure what it is classified as. It is narrow like a belt, about 15 inches long, and made of heavy duty rubber conveyor belt material. It is more flexible than a paddle, but not as flexible as a belt, and packs a serious punch. When I change my plans like this, I tend to think of painful things to add, or activities that are not on MS’s “love it” list. These are things she doesn’t necessarily enjoy, but I enjoy doing them to her. On a good spanking day, I would warm her up and eventually get to this paddle. Tonight I will use it cold.
I returned to bed, stripped off the covers, and hauled her over my lap, bottom up. I then gave her several quick smacks on each cheek with the paddle, and she squirmed with the sudden pain. she tried to slide off my lap, but I held her there and gave her more. Spanking her makes me hard, especially when she is squirming or making distressed sounds.
I rolled her off my lap and onto her back. I lifted her ankles in the air and pushed them toward the head of the bed, doubling her up. I applied the lube to the plug and worked it into her ass. I watched her jump and squirm as the cold metal touched, then entered her. I pushed it home, and took the opportunity to give her some more swats with the paddle on her bottom. I also gave a few to her breasts for good measure. It had more of an effect there, even more so when I included her nipple in the impact area.
I was ready to go at that point, and straddled her chest. I pushed my cock into her mouth and began fucking her. At that point, there was a knock on the door. Our older child wanted to be tucked back into bed after a bad dream. I told MS to stay where she was, and I tucked out child into her bed again and waited for her to sleep. It only took a couple minutes.
When I returned, MS was still where I left her, and the plug was still inserted. I was pleased to see she hadn’t removed it without permission. I moved back into position to resume the face fucking. My plan was to cum on her breasts when I finished.
She started begging me to fuck her pussy instead. That wasn’t part of my plan tonight. She eventually convinced me. She asked me to fuck my slut’s wet pussy, and told me how much she wanted me inside her. Plan evolved.
I went to the bathroom to fetch a condom, and picked up some nipple clamps as well. I got back into bed and slowly tightened the tweezer clamps, first on one nipple, then the other. I watched her face to see where the pain started, and stopped before it was unbearable. She still gave a whimper for the pain, which turned me on even more. I enjoy inflicting sexual pain as much as she enjoys receiving it. I tightened them a little more for my own pleasure, and entered her. It was missionary position, with legs wide open and knees up. I moved her knees together so her legs were up against my chest and continued. In this position I could thrust deep, and watch the reaction in her eyes. As I thrust, her legs pressed against the nipple clamps, squeezing her nipples even more. The look in her eyes was amazing as a mix of pain and pleasure. She described how much she loved feeling me in her, and that she wanted me to cum in her. That sent me over the edge, and I finished and cleaned up, but left the nipple clamps on her and the plug in. I informed her that she would be sleeping with the plug in tonight. It is not large, and she has done it before, so it is nothing she can’t handle.
I returned after cleaning myself up, holding a vibrator. MS couldn’t see what I was holding yet.In her mind, it could have been zappy wand, a vibrator, a cane, etc. I quickly moved it to her pussy, and she tried to leap back. That doesn’t work very well while lying down in bed. She didn’t make it far. I like the mindfuck something like that can give.
I turned on the vibrator and nestled it between the lips of her pussy, grazing her clitoris. I started to ask her if she thought I was going to let her cum tonight, because I wasn’t sure I should. As she neared orgasm, I stopped, and continued to talk. She began to look distressed, and she was telling me that she needed one, and was begging me to let her have one. I pulled sharply in her nipple clamps, eliciting a gasp as the pain took over. I gave a few more tugs, then removed them. I continued with the vibrator, talking the whole time about how I wasn’t sure she should be allowed to orgasm that night, and that maybe Friday would be a good day to let her finish. Plan evolved.
I decided to let her cum, since she was doing such a wonderful job of begging me to let her cum. As I tease, her, she gets more and more desperate to cum. I don’t usually withhold orgasms, but I have done it before, so she is never sure. I enjoy that part of the mindfuck as well. I bring her to orgasm with the vibrator, and she asks permission to cum, I stop and say “no, Goodnight.” She still doesn’t know I’ve already decided to let her have one. She is still begging to be allowed to cum, and promising to be good and follow all of the rules and rituals. She should be doing this anyway, but at least she is thinking about it and promising to be good. I turn on the vibrator again and bring her to orgasm, this time granting permission to cum. When she cums, she bucks her hips, and a vibrator tends to get dislodged, , but I manage to keep it on the same magic spot after she is finished with the first one. She can orgasm multiple times in a row, without waiting between. I bring her to a second orgasm, and tell her she must not was to stop cumming. “Please Sir, may I stop cumming.” I give her the words to use as she still has the vibrator on, applied to her sensitive clitoris. It gets more sensitive the more she cums. She arrives at a third orgasm and finally manages to get the correct words out for me to stop the vibrations. I love watching her cum. It is the most beautiful thing in the world. I also love watching her cum over and over,unable to stop until she makes the enormous effort to give me a coherent request to stop. I see how much difficulty she has saying it while her mind is giving her such pleasure and trying to drive out all coherent thought.
I help her clean up, and hold her while she comes down from the pleasure and falls asleep. I sleep as well, enjoying the warmth of her naked body against my chest. I am happy we were finally able to play without more than one interruption, and that the session went so well.
Much later that night, the older child knocks on the door again, wanting to be tucked in for a third time. As I get up and take the child back to the kids’ room, I see MS get up as well to use the restroom. I text her that she has permission to remove the plug, and she texts back “Thank You”… I notice there is a “Sir” missing from that….
(graphics all found on google or pinterest)
I was inspired by this post:
and my own experiences balancing kids and D/s.
Young children in the house always seem to interfere with and interrupt the D/s dynamic and play time. When they are awake, they demand all of your attention and ask awkward questions if they see anything other than what they expect. My wife/sub can use “sir” every once in a while, but we would get questions if it comes up too many times. We also can’t have as much physical contact. Whenever one child sees us hugging, sitting in a lap, etc, she wants to join in for a “family hug”. This makes it difficult to do anything under a blanket or out of sight while the children are awake. MS also can’t wear a collar or there would be questions about why she is wearing a “dog’s collar”. Because of this, we have a bracelet we use as a “day collar” that looks like a plain bracelet, but has an inscription inside. If something can be hidden under clothes (i.e. some rope, a toy, etc.) it might work, but the children distract from the effects of doing such things.
So, we usually wait to do most things until bed time. We put the children to bed, and retire to our room. We do the nightly rituals, and sometimes try to have play time. On very rare nights, we don’t have any interruptions, and the play time goes as planned. On other nights, we may have one or multiple interruptions.
The older child comes and bangs on the door, wanting one of us to put her to bed again, which takes 30+ minutes.
The younger child wakes up and demands attention, sometimes multiple times in a row. Sometimes it seems like the younger one has a proximity detector, waking up every time I try to touch MS. That gets very frustrating.
Due to the possibility of interruption, play time with children in the house is limited. We don’t use some restraints or toys because they are either too loud, of would take too long to remove and make the area safe for children’s inquisitive eyes. I also can’t do anything complicated that would take too long to remove when I know I may be called away by a child for attention.
The same problem also makes for interesting play sometimes. Even with something as vanilla as using a vibrator on MS, the children can make it more interesting. I start with the vibrator. Child makes a fuss in the other room. I stop, without letting MS orgasm. Once I take care of the child, I am back for more vibrator action. Child fusses again. I stop again before she is finished and take care of the child. Repeat several times. It makes for a sexually frustrated and horny MS, desperate for an Orgasm. What was originally a pretty vanilla time with a vibrator has become an edging session.
It does take some thinking and reflection to acknowledge this as something fun. During the play time, I’m thinking “oh no, not again. When will this stop?” every time I’m interrupted.
I would also like to use some of the toys and restraints that are underused for the reasons stated above. I’m hoping for some more time when family can watch the kids and give us at least a little time for a nice scene where we don’t have to worry about being interrupted or rushing to make the area kid safe again.
Innocuous rituals or tasks help keep the dynamic going as well. Doing things for each other, setting up the bedroom in a desired way, and kneeling before bed are all relatively simple things that can be done, and the children are none the wiser.
The other night MS had a request: “I want you to fill all my holes”.
I was happy to grant that request.
Harness type ball gag, small smooth dildo, condom, lube, cane, paddle, violet wand, magic wand.
She starts by kneeling by the bed, our normal nightly routine. She is naked. I prepare the toys, and buckle the gag in her mouth, tightening the rest of the straps until they are tight. I run my hands over her body, and spread her legs. I prepare the violet wand and run it over the inside of her thighs, then her breasts. I lightly touch her nipples with the wand, and she jumps from the sensation. I do the same to her clit and she jumps even more.
We move to the bed, and she is in doggy style position, with her head down on the pillow. She presses her face into the pillow as I slide the small dildo into her wet pussy. I tell her to keep it there while I pick up the cane and paddle.
I return to find that the dildo has slipped out. I push it back in and give her a few swats each with the paddle and cane. She enjoys it, but wants me inside her.
I move behind her on the bed, slip on a condom, and lube up her ass. I inform her that she didn’t specify in her request which hole was for what, so I will choose. I slowly push on her ass with my penis, but she is not ready yet. I back off and apply some more lube, using one finger, then two, to slowly stretch her to be ready for me. When she is stretched and relaxed enough, I slowly push my way into her.
At this point she has the gag in her mouth, dildo in pussy, and me in her ass. All 3 holes filled. I slowly fuck her ass until I cum, and I pull out and clean myself up, leaving her on the bed in the same position.
I roll her over to her back, and spread her legs. I use the cane a little more on the inside of her thighs and lightly on her pussy. She jumps with each stroke. I then set up the magic wand, and tease her with it. I run it over her breasts and thighs, coming ever closer to the magic spot. Finally it arrives there, and I hold it there. I hold it there through her first Orgasm, and for 3 more. She is tired and spent. I bring her some water, help her clean up, and tuck her into bed. We cuddle to sleep.
It is difficult to deal with a pause in D/s. Some or all of the things that have become “normal” to the D/s stop, and it feels like a void. Sometimes even the little, simple things stop and you wonder when you can start again. Wonder when the other will be ready to start again.
I do what I can to support MS, but she is in a busy and stressful period in her life with a new job and a long drive every day. She comes home tired, both mentally and physically. This has caused the D/s to pause, as we don’t have any time, and she doesn’t have any energy to do any of it.
I hope it gets better as she learns the new job and the stress is reduced.