Last night, MS and I had scheduled play time. We had dinner, put on a movie, and started. It seemed disconnected and we retired to the bedroom for some downtime.
During downtime, she lay with her head on my lap, and we discussed our dynamic and made some breakthroughs. She described how she was feeling, and that sometimes she doesn’t feel the submission at all. Her head is not in the right place, and she often thinks only of how to be bad. The time off from D/s was detrimental to our dynamic and pushed us apart from each other. I needed to start from the beginning and teach her how to be my sub again.
I started at square one. I talked to her about how a sub should ask “how can I make my Dom happy?” instead of “how can I be bad and push buttons?” I talked about the things I do for her, and my reasoning behind each one, to show her my thinking process and how I take care of her. I talked about how each made me feel, and asked her how she felt when I did those things for her. That opened it up to the other side as well.
She asked me what I wanted from her, ritual and otherwise.
In public, I need some physical contact. That can be holding hands, sitting so our legs touch, etc. Of course, this is all limited by reason and the situation, but an effort should be made to make the contact. I also need the dismissive and disrespectful language to stop, including bratty questions such as “so what?”, “who cares?”, etc. Deliberate pushing of buttons or bratting should be limited unless a punishment is desired (and will be earned and given). A “Sir” here and there when no one will notice would also help the dynamic and feed my Dom. She also needs to check in with me during the day so I can see how she is doing and make sure she is eating well.
In private, I need my instructions in the bedroom to be followed (i.e. prepare in a certain way, wear this, do that, insert this, position x, etc). MS has always been good at this, but recently she has been questioning directions and trying to run the show in bed. We will start with position training again, and she will learn to please me as much as possible.
We also discussed rituals and “chores” that would begin again. When we did them before it appeared to devolve into a game of “how much can MS get away with before being punished?” This time, I described each ritual or chore, and how it made me feel when she did them properly, and asked her the same. This helped her understand why I asked her to do certain things, and how they helped our dynamic. I won’t get into the background details here, but the rituals/chores were: Bracelets in the morning, kneeling at night when ready for bed (wearing night dress, no undergarments), set my clothes out for the evening, refill the water pitcher and place it on the side table with the cup, shave properly and routinely, use “Sir” regularly (or with every response in high protocol), Apply my lotion after bath, hug and kiss to greet when one of us comes home to the other (with “presence”, not busy on the phone, etc.). Kneeling will include discussion of the day, our D/s, and anything else appropriate at the time. Kneeling quiet time should be spent reflecting on how to please MD, and our D/s.
Happy with our discussion, we then had sex. I moved over her and slowly explored her body with my lips, kissing and licking just about everywhere, and paying special attention to her breasts and nipples. She had shaved for me, and I was very pleased with the smoothness. I went down on her and licked her to orgasm while playing with her G spot. (She asked permission to cum like a good girl). After she was done, I had her climb on top of me and ride me for a while. I love the look on her face and the gasp when she lowers herself all the way down on me. I flipped her over and took her from behind. I started slow, and she pushed back against me to get more. I toyed with her ass with my fingers, and let her push herself back on my finger until it was as far as it could go in. She usually resists fingers there and prefers toys, but she didn’t give any resistance this time. I kept a finger in her while I took her from behind and talked dirty to her. After I finished we cleaned up and I fed her “sex bears” and water while she lay on my chest. We drifted off to sleep snuggled up together.
This morning, MS said she didn’t remember part of last night. She slipped into subspace after her orgasm, and only remembers enjoying playtime after that.
It was a wonderful night, and I woke up a little tired, but happy.